Mary Lee Bendolph

Mary Lee Bendolph: so positive! Filled with gratitude and sweet frankness. She has good and bad days; I think she had a stroke several years ago, and she talks often about how her mind is not right and some activities really hurt her head. Arranging images on her wall (in a quilt like fashion) is a favorite pastime; sometimes this wears her out. One day we call to visit and she’s not up for having us, another day we go and she is even able to show us her piecing method. Arranging, tearing, cutting. “We used what we had, mmmm hmmm.”

I am amazed at the frankness of her conversation. She speaks so freely of sex, pregnancy, fertility, marriage. As a young adolescent, just 13 years old, she was pregnant before she knew how one could get that way. Mary Lee was one of 17 children and thus her mama didn’t spend too much time explaining things to her. Just the command to “Be lovely.” Until one day her mama told her she had to stop going to school. And despite her successes at life, she’s still filled with regret over her lack of education.  

Visiting with Mary Lee is a lot like going to church. Conversation follows the rhythm of a sermon’s call and response; her monologues are regularly broken up with “yes lord”, “thanks the lord”, “mmmhmmm”, “alright”. She is full of grace and gratitude, laughing frequently, almost singing while she speaks. Then she will break into song; it is deliberate, lovely.